When your cat and man…don’t get on

By Brooke Stevenson Dec 21, 2016
When your cat and man…don’t get on

Well, in my life experience many men have a bizarre fear of loosing their masculinity by declaring love for a cat. It seems very ironic, because most men are fascinated with being perceived as “care-free” and “cool” and yet cats actually do embody these exact traits without trying at all. My partner has only very recently become “friends” over the past month. After 4 years of discontentment and on his behalf a little frustration.


1.    What you don’t know or see

Ok, well I had heard of cats disliking people. But along the path to meeting and dating, Jukka (my 6 year old tabby) has been almost a form of contraception in my relationships. He not only likes to sleep between people, but he also has actively disliked some of the men in my life. FACT: Cats can remember a face for 10 years, meaning if you crossed them as a kitten, they might remember…for a long time. They are also very selective about their human pets, so we can’t assume that a stray male human we let into their home will be warmly welcomed by our feline housemate. But in one instance, I didn’t understand the depth of the negative interactions between a particular man in my life and my feline life partner.

Jukka would sleep on my partners side of the bed, and while I was asleep he would frequently sleep on his pillow (to be close to me) gently encouraging this particular partner to anther pillow and then another bed, then even eventually another woman. Sadly, he was also an asthmatic, so one instance resulted in a hospital visit too. Only to return home to the cat in a ball back on his pillow once again.

My current partner is still a little confused the cat-human friendship. As a dog lover, he doesn’t understand the physical closeness that cats crave.  


2.    He’s not a cat person

This is a common issue with the greater world. I don’t quite understand why someone can claim they are a “dog person” or a “cat person” because I believe that every cat has their own special personality. But admittedly I do identify as a “cat person” and I instantly bond with other “cat-people”, even bringing up my cat costume photos on my phone.

I see cats and dogs as completely different creatures, dogs generally like everyone. Cats are selective and they don’t push or force their affection onto anyone.

After Jukka moved into our home, my man saw the simplicity of owning a cat. As a practical person, he could understand the ease of having a cat. Because there is; no walking, no barking and no digging up the garden.

Now they have spent more time together (not voluntarily may I add), Jukka will snuggle up to him on the couch. Which actually won my man over.



The moral of that story was a little off track, but no-one is truly a “cat person” or a “dog person”. But there will be a pet that can be more complimentary to your lifestyle.

I have had dogs and cats and as I told my partner; Jukka eats a little, snuggles a lot, is soft and warm (like a living heat pack), poops in a box and plays around for only a little while a day before curling back up on the couch to watch TV.

How more men haven’t discovered the purrrrfection of cat-ownership I won’t understand. Hopefully one day, we will see guide-cats, border-security-cats or seeing-eye cats. But after watching Jukka grow bored of his toys in 3 minutes, I won’t be counting on seeing “working-cats” any day soon.


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